Are you “Shoulding” on yourself?

3 simple questions to determine if you “should”.

When I was a little girl I was told that I could be anything I wanted to be. The whole world was wide open. I could choose to be anything, an artist, a doctor, a lawyer, a professor or an explorer. I could explore anything and everything. I dreamt of each in turn. What would I be like as a lawyer, what kind of cases would I try. What would the law library look like, what would the books reveal? What kind of doctor would suit me best, a PhD who works in a lab, or an MD who sees patients?  What would I teach and where would I live?

As I grew older I came to realize that while it is true that different career paths were open to me, and I could choose which path I would take, I couldn’t choose them all. I couldn’t be everything, everything all at once. Sure, I had the ability to be all those things I dreamed about. But the time, focus and sheer effort to become any one of these demanded that I choose a single path. Just one. Or at least, one at a time.

Today when opportunities arise, I get just as excited about the possibilities. I think about what it would mean for me, how it would affect my business, my career. What I could do with, and within, each new opportunity. Who will I meet, what partnerships may form?

I like to think about it, to flush the different opportunities out in my brain and to explore the different experiences that might happen within each one.

But this can be the proverbial squirrel. Sure, I CAN do anything, but SHOULD I?

So, I have developed a litmus test for myself and my business when new ventures, opportunities, or partnerships present themselves. I ask myself these three questions;

  1. Does it align with my core Mission?

My mission is my declaration of purpose. Why I do what I do. Why I exist as an author and coach. Does this new opportunity align with my mission? Does it further my purpose?

  1. Does it serve my Vision?

The vision for my company is where I see myself in the future, where I want to go. Does this new venture or opportunity take me where I need to go? Is it where I see myself going in my career and business? Does it serve my clients in a better way?

  1. Is it in alignment with my Core Values?

My core values are my guiding principles, my core beliefs. They are what I do and do not stand for. Sometimes an opportunity might be in alignment with my core values but not serve my mission or vision, and frankly, that is probably why it is so appealing in the first place

You can create your own litmus test. It does not have to be these three questions but I encourage you to dig a little deeper into the benefits of a new opportunity or venture before you go chasing that squirrel.

Want to know more about all that “shoulding” pressure? Get your copy of “Difficult Happens” today.


Get my 10 best tips on how to deal with people & sticky situations!

Get tons of tips on dealing with difficult people, having tough conversations, and navigating conflict.

  • Take the guesswork out of how to respond to rude, manipulative or just plain dysfunctional people

  • Take control of the situation so that you don’t get caught up reacting instead of responding

  • Know what to say - when you don’t know what to say