117 How to Listen

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“Listen to hear, not to respond.” Lara

The simple act of listening can diffuse a tense situation.

We’ve all experienced a conversation where the other person is just waiting to respond, not really listening.

When it comes to conflict, it is almost always the case that the people involved are waiting to talk, to explain, to convince, to persuade, to justify, not to really listen and hear or understand.

Empathetic listening is a gift. In today’s episode, I go through how to listen so that you can really hear what the other person is saying and experiencing.

Open heart and nonjudgmental empathy
Remember your body Eye contact –
Listen for feelings as well as their perceived facts, try to picture what they are saying
Dont try to solve it, even in your mind
It’s okay to ask questions, to clarify, not to judge,  solve or justify. For example, ‘how did that make you feel’
It comes down to your intention, you have to want to listen,

Listen to hear, not to respond.

Leave room for silence

You can say something like, I am sorry you are going through that, that must be hard, or painful,

‘I hear what you are saying,’
‘That gives me a lot to think about’ thank you
‘Thank you for sharing that with me,’

What you’ll hear on today’s episode:

  • What is active listening
  • Why solving the problem isn’t the point
  • Empathy is a muscle that needs exercising
  • What my 12-year-old daughter taught me
  • Non-verbal cues
  • Pay attention to your body
  • Making eye contact
  • The importance of an apology

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Series on Manipulation
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© Lara Currie 2020

Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Alireza Attari on Unsplash
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